Charles County Sheriff Police Beat: Knucklehead and Chuckles Tried to Dump Drugs in Police Cruiser on Way to Jail

Police say that after he had been placed in the officer’s cruiser, the subject attempted to hide approximately 45 grams of marijuana underneath the seat. Further investigation revealed the driver was in possession of brass knuckles, and both subjects had conspired to sell drugs in the area.

Baltimore County Police Beat: Ex Con Skinhead who Shot Two Students on High School Athletic Field Released on Bail

TIMONIUM, MD. — The ex-con who shot a BB gun from the window of his apartment overlooking the athletic fields at Dulaney High School and injured two students has been released from jail. In this latest victory over the citizenry by the far-left liberal nut cases running the Maryland Judicial system, this dangerous criminal is once again free to render heartache and harm on the public.

Baltimore County Police report that Christopher Swayer-Schweigman was released on September 5, 2010 on $100,000 bail.

Southern Md. Police Beat: Cops Raid Got a Dickens Load of Crack; Stinky-Feet Sullivan Kept Cocaine in his Shoe

He had so much cocaine he knew not what to do, so Sullivan kept his stash in his shoe.

St. Mary’s Sheriff’s Captain Daniel Alioto reports that Narco Squad Detectives began making undercover purchases of cocaine from Javon Lyzell Dickens, 24, of California, Md., at various locations throughout St. Mary’s County.

Murder USA: Death never takes a holiday in Temple Hills; drug dealer Taurean Beard shot dead

TEMPLE HILLS, MD. — The march of the murderers continues in the Pretty Gory County of Prince Georges County, Md., with the shooting death of Taurean Beard. Police say that the dead guy was 26-years-old and lived at 4415 23rd Place in Temple Hills, Md., a neighborhood which likely has other drug dealers ready to fill the gap of this dead death merchant. Anyone with information on this case is asked to call 1-866-411-TIPS. Tipsters do not have to give their name and could be eligible for an up to $25,000 reward.

THE MAN OF STEALS, NOT STEEL; Crotch Rocket Driver Stole Bike in Fairfax & Crashed in Dover Resulting in Critical Injuries

DOVER, DEL. — The business of stealing rides can be murder when weaving between lanes and attempting to hurdle around and even over moving traffic. Police say that a nutcase operating at a high-rate of speed in one of Dover’s busiest intersections plowed into a small sedan and went flying through the air, but evidently this bozo forgot his cape. As a result of his short flight he suffered massive injuries requiring yet another flight to a trauma unit.

Governor Marvin Mandel dead at 95; spent last days enjoying grandchildren, Ravens and steamed crabs

COMPTON, MD. — “After an afternoon of eating crabs and spending the weekend in St. Mary’s County and enjoying the Ravens last night,” Phil Dorsey, stepson of Gov. Marvin Mandel, told THE CHESAPEAKE TODAY, “the Governor died at Harborview this afternoon.”

The location of Governor Mandel’s death was at the river-front home of Dorsey, located just off Breton Bay in Compton. Dorsey’s mother, the late Jeanne Blackistone Dorsey Mandel, was married to Governor Mandel in 1974 and became First Lady of Maryland. Mandel had been vacationing with his son Paul Dorsey and Mandel’s grandchildren at the summer place which overlooks the expansive Breton Bay for the last few months as his health declined.

Dirtbag Roundup: Credit Card Ring Boss Sentenced to Federal Prison

Baltimore, Maryland – The advent of a massive credit card fraud scheme based in Maryland began with a love affair, according to prosecutors. Instead of sending each other love notes, the pair gained access to an embossing machine and expressed their love for each other by creating counterfeit credit cards which they used to steal over $126,000.