Island Shows New Signs of Slippage from Mainland; Indians Set to Turn it Into Casino

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ST. GEORGE ISLAND, Md. (SPECIAL) — A serious disturbance in the Gregorian Fault which lies underneath the Potomac River and affects an island attached to the mainland of St. Mary’s County only by a bridge is once again showing signs of shifting.

Not since 1989 when the island actually broke loose from the mainland, causing the island to lose its Post Office and the road link to the Piney Point area has such an extreme danger to everyday lives of residents come into question.

A county commissioner, Francis Russell, lives on the island and has been bombarded with phone calls from his neighbors who are asking what the government is going to do to keep the earthquake-like event from severing their land connection with the mainland.

State Highway Administration trucks have set up a checkpoint on the mainland just before the bridge and have seismic monitors drilled into the ground at the bridge to monitor each and every tremble.

“We will shut this bridge down at the first sign of new cracks,” said SHA spokesperson Judy Landau.  “We cannot allow anyone to be endangered by being on the bridge at the time of gaseous trembling emitting from the deep recesses of the Gregorian Fault, which caused the bridge to be severed back in 1989.  Engineers had provided the structural repairs necessary to the island with 742 metal rods which had been drilled into the northern end of the island to permanently anchor it to the south end of the bridge and we are doing Satellite surveillance of all of the changes in the positioning of the island over the past 12 months.  At the first sign of movement, the bridge will be closed to traffic and after that residents are on their own for transportation to the mainland as the State of Maryland is already facing a $2 billion deficit. “

Commissioner Russell vowed to conduct County Commissioner meetings on the island as a way of forcing the State of Maryland to provide ferry boat service.   Commissioner Kenneth R. Dement told a resident of the island that “I’m not taking any boat to the island, I don’t go on boats.”

The popular Bull Wade, who has been the county executive for five terms, first elected in 1990, reported to the commissioners at last week’s meeting that he had met with Congressman Steny Hoyer who said he was going to have the Department of the Interior study the suitability of the island simply becoming a national park and having each resident be given a I.O.U for their property, as the national government is already facing $14 trillion in debt and won’t have any money to pay residents for their homes, but Hoyer reports that the SEIU has sent a proposal to the Obama Administration to give the island to the Mattaponi Indian Tribe who will then turn St. George Island into a casino. 

“The Mattaponi Indian Casino will be able to provide car ferries to patrons of the casino, which will also include new high-rise hotels,” said Hoyer in a statement delivered on the House floor a few minutes after the contentious health care issued was passed.

“It’s a shame that someone didn’t think of this sooner,” said Russell. “Most of the people on the island are getting old and going to die anyway, so it’s imperative that government act to prevent a new generation of aging Americans from moving in, growing old and then dying, the cemeteries are full and neither the county or the state government can afford to pay for ferry service, but the Indian Casino will be able to do the service, provide jobs and a strong source of tax revenue for county and state government, everyone wins under this proposal.”

With the Mattaponi Indian tribe signing a 99-year affiliation with the SEIU last year, the two entities will work together to quickly move all of the St. George Island residents into FEMA trailers which have been brought in from a large FEMA storage lot in Purvis, Miss.

“This is a win-win, those St. George Island residents who would lost their homes due to the island separating from the mainland will be able to frolic in the lush pastures and woodlands of the nearby Take It Easy Ranch,” said Russell.  “They will be on high ground, not be a target for every north-easter and hurricane, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why anyone ever wanted to live on the island.”

The chief snag to the deal for the island is coming from the Seafarer’s Union which had been negotiating with the Mattaponi Indians to sell their Harry Lundeberg School of Seamanship facility at Piney Point to the Indians. 

The two 6-story resort hotels already built at the Seafarer’s school campus, along with dining and marina facilities would allow the tribe to quickly implement the license for slot machines it won last month from the State of Maryland as well as exercise its rights under an agreement with the Federal Government to settle outstanding litigation over confiscation of Indian lands in St. Mary’s City.

“We have been promised a lot over the past couple of years,” said SEIU President Fibing B. Eig. “We worked hard to get this administration elected and our members need jobs, we need to compensate the Indians for their native lands and someone has to  pay for car ferries, so here we are, in the Majority Leader’s home district to replace a bridge that will soon lead to nowhere.”

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